Guidance & Discipline Techniques

Disciplining children is not easy. You won’t always feel good about how you handle a situation. It’s important to recognize that you are human. It’s hard to be calm when it would be easier to start screaming to get their attention. The most important thing to remember is talking works much better than hitting and praise works much better than belittling.

One approach to discipline that you should never consider is becoming physical with a child. Violence breeds violence and is very dangerous to a child’s or adult’s self-esteem .

There is no one right way to discipline. An approach that is successful in one situation may not work in another. The following are some approaches that you can use.

Setting Up a Safe Environment

• Children move quickly and they love to climb and explore. Take a close look at your home indoors and outdoors. A fenced-in yard will help keep children away from the streets.
• Childproof your home by locking up dangerous chemicals and medicines.
• Problems often arise when children do not have enough toys or materials to play with. A safe place to play and appropriate toys to play with can save you from saying “No” too often and make your day easier.
• In this day of computers and chat rooms, and so many web sites available, children of all ages should be monitored very closely while using the computer. It’s a good idea to be close by while your child is using it and always be aware of how to block unwanted web sites.

Internet Safety Tips for Kids

Establish a Predictable Routine

• Kids need routines and schedules. Their stomachs and high energy levels need nutritious snacks and meals. Establish consistent times for eating, napping for younger kids, and play or leisure time. This helps kids to learn how to pace themselves.
• In our busy lives it is sometimes hard to make sure the entire family is together at one time. Try having everyone meet at home in time for the evening meal. It is a great way to set a schedule and a way for everyone to share their day together as a family.

Set a Good Example

• Kids of all ages love to imitate adults. Watch your habits because children will be sure to be copying them.
• If you want your kids to treat each other kindly or have good eating habits, be sure to demonstrate how to do it.
• Talk about what you do, and explain why in simple terms. The little ones may not fully understand everything you say, but they will begin to understand that there are reasons for doing things a certain way.
• Children also learn a great deal from each other. Encourage appropriate ways to share and play and be consistent.

Praise

• A little praise goes a long way! It encourages learning, independence, and strong self-esteem. The key to effective praise is to be a coach more than a cheerleader.
• A cheerleader might say, “Great Job!” A coach gives specific praise to teach and instill self worth. For example, when a child sets the table, you might say, “You did such a good job setting the table! You put the spoons and forks in the right place and remembered the napkins.

Remove or Isolate

• When a child is running out into the street or about to get into an unsafe situation, there is no time for negotiation. You must remove them from the danger. A child may protest loudly, but your primary responsibility is to keep him safe. Sometimes quick action is the only response.

Time Out

• Is just that - a cooling off period. When a child is misbehaving or out of control, he needs to be removed or isolated for a few minutes.
• Time out can be used with kids ages 3 to 12. For younger kids time out needs to be no longer than 5 minutes or else they will forget the reason for the time out.
• Follow up by talking with the child about the reason for the time out. With older kids time out can mean being grounded or restricted to their rooms for a period of time.
• The punishment should be equal to the offense.

Ignore

• Behavior that is not harmful to the child or others can be ignored. The goal is to have the child stop the undesirable behavior by not paying attention to it.
• This can be effective in some situations with older toddlers and preschoolers. Try withholding all attention praise, and support. Without the desired attention the child eventually quits whatever they are doing.
• Ignoring really means no attention at all, but if you feel you must respond, you might try “active ignoring.” You may wish to make a casual statement like. “You can scream out here in the hall where it won’t bother me.”

The Problem Solving Approach

• Sometimes children have a behavioral problem that seems to happen over and over. When nothing seems to be working, try the who, what, when, where, and how method.
• Ask yourself, “When does the troublesome behavior seem to happen?” “What happens just before and after?” “Where does it happen and with whom?” “How do I usually respond?” “How could I prevent the behavior?” “What other approaches could I use?”
• Take time to sit down and think about the problem. It can help you find a more successful way to handle things.

Watch your Language - Use your words carefully and focus on what to do rather than what not to do. Never use profanity with your kids because they will begin to use profanity too!

• TRY SAYING: “Slow down and walk” INSTEAD OF: “Stop Running”
• TRY SAYING: “Come and sit by me” INSTEAD OF: “Don’t sit over there”
• TRY SAYING: “Use your quiet voice” INSTEAD OF: “Stop screaming and shouting”